Rachell ‘Valkyrae’ Hofstetter has revealed to her fans she’s been having a “rough” time streaming recently, both because of her move to YouTube, and the decision for her and her partner Michael to end their four-year relationship.

The 100 Thieves creator made a major move in her career in January, binning Twitch and her time there for “financial security” and “creative freedom.” Soon after, the 28-year-old also left the 100T house, but stayed with the org.

It hasn’t all been smooth sailing for the streaming star, however, as she revealed to her fans in an emotional livestream on March 2. In the broadcast, Valkyrae revealed her and long-term boyfriend Michael ‘sonii’ Sherman had split.

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As well as the separation ⁠— the couple’s second high-profile split in nine months ⁠— Valkyrae also revealed she has been struggling with the “rough” swap to YouTube, and admitted she has been battling with actually getting on-stream.

“I’m not playing games right now, I just really wanted to stream and open up a bit on all of this with you,” she said on March 2. “I’ve already cried gallons and gallons of tears. I’ve lost so much weight, I’m just skinny. I’ve just been so low.”

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According to the streamer, the past month of moving away from Twitch has been “difficult,” not least of all because her platform jump came at the same time as her move to a new house alongside Michael.

There, the couple soon discovered they had “noisy neighbors” who were keeping them up at night. Adding to that, Valkyrae revealed she had planned on being at the 100 Thieves content house more, but those plans soon flew out the window.

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“It’s been hard on me… I really thought I was ready for this. I got really stressed and scared because I did plan on living in the 100 Thieves house, I didn’t plan on living here, so obviously this was supposed to be my office,” she said.

On top of that, Valkyrae and Sonii found themselves talking about their relationship again, and this time they made a more final call: Michael would move out of the house, and they would stop talking to each other completely.

“Michael, my boyfriend of four years, we’ve been having a lot of issues with the neighbors… anyway, he’s moving away. In the past weeks, we’ve been trying to decide whether we should still be together. It’s just not working,” she said.

life really sucks sometimes

— RAE (@Valkyrae) March 3, 2020

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All of this happening over the past few weeks has basically put a halt to Valkyrae’s YouTube streaming train. The 28-year-old even took a three-day hiatus from all social media, before admitting she felt “weird” to stop completely.

“All this is why I haven’t really been streaming, and I haven’t been focusing. I hope that makes sense. I’m sorry for neglecting you guys, I’ve been a bad streamer and content creator. I feel really guilty about that too,” she said.

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“I know I’ve been absent, and I’m sorry. I’m going to work on being better… the switch from YouTube has made me feel like I’m on an island, but I want to fix that now. I want to focus on being better now, and I will focus on myself for once.”

For mobile readers, the related segment begins at 7:43 in the livestream VOD below.

She also added that she is “never going to quit trying to be better than before” in a text post shared on Instagram as the 100T star returned to social media. “I’m doing my best to figure out life, and the perfect stream and video upload schedule.”

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For now, though, Valkyrae fans may have to expect a bit of a staggered video schedule as the YouTube streamer adapts to single life “for the first time in like 15 years.” She’s ready for the new stage of her life, she said, but it takes time.

“This will be a good time for me now to focus on working, streaming,” she concluded. “I want to keep making things for you, and sharing everything… maybe I’ll even try that new Riot one, Valorant? I might have to learn FPS games.”

Valkyrae isn’t the only newly-minted YouTube star to speak out about their struggles recently either ⁠— fellow 100 Thieves personality Jack ‘Courage’ Dunlop admitted he has “fears” about “going live” at the moment.

Courage’s situation is a little different, but maybe Hofstetter accidentally mentioned a good solution for both their problems. Dunlop wants to find new games, and Valkyrae needs new distractions: maybe Valorant will be the key?

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